I was listening to the podcaster Tim Ferriss interview Scott Belsky today when they got on the topic of their “Best Self”. Scott mentioned that when things were going badly his confidence would wane and if things were going too well his ego would become an issue. It got me wondering when or where is my best self.
When I think of my “Best Self” I think of traveling. Traveling certainly gets me out of my info bubble and helps protect against what the French philosopher Durkheim calls anomie. Anomie is when I become the one and only test to my own reality. (Thanks to the late Dr. Don Briel from the theology department at the University of St. Thomas for that meme). However, there are only certain types of traveling and certain places that qualify. Few places can change the way I think about the world. These are places where the social dynamic is different. It’s places where others, too, are experiencing their best selves.
For me it’s a short list: Ragbrai-the bike ride across Iowa, Blue Skies music festival in Ontario, and the Camino de Santiago. All of these places have a different vibe, a place where you can start conversations with anyone because everyone around you has an open and exploratory mind.
Let’s face it: I can’t acknowledge everyone I pass on the street, the homeless people at intersections, or all the people I know in a hallway of a school of 1000 students. Filtering is ignoring and its necessary to get through the day. I have lost something being part of “modern society” with all its misanthropic demands.
The places I mentioned are not really places rather experiences: of biking, walking or listening to music. Simple and in a sense, goalless. I and others are attracted to these places because everyone is a valued part of the experience. Waiting in line for a pork chop at Ragbrai is just another opportunity to have another conversation. When I sit down for an espresso on the Camino, I greet the person sitting next to me, and we may end up talking about our lives and what brought us here.
On my next post, Part 2, I will get further into anomie and the problems of our modern, connected society. I will look at how to fashion my best self while facing the modern dilemma of “information processing” versus “doing”. In the meantime I’d love to hear from you about the unique places that allows for your “Best Self”. Send me yours or just add them in the comment section. Cheers, Paul
(In order to frame this discussion, I want to focus on places where people are strangers, not family reunions, camps or other places where people know each other.)